The Work/Life “Balance” Series Part II: The “B Word”

The Work/Life “Balance” Series Part II: The “B Word”

Yesterday I shared with you one of the darker sides to the story of how I got to where I am today. I hope that it encouraged you to know that we are ALL just figuring this thing out as we go and making lots of mistakes along the way.

 

My life looks VERY different than it did ten years ago when I was sitting in that small corner of our guestroom tired, overwhelmed and resentful holding a new baby in my left arm while I tried to respond to work e-mails with my right. 

 

For the next few days, we are going to walk through some of the frameworks that I have learned in 10 years of fighting for both a thriving life and business.

 

But first, we need to address the elephant in the room. The “B” word.

 

I’m talking about BALANCE

 

It seems to have become trendy today for business owners to say that they “don’t believe in balance” or that “there is no such thing as balance” - essentially that “balance” doesn’t and can’t possibly exist. 

 

I am pretty sure I have said that phrase myself at some point. I think to a certain extent it has just become a popular stance to take publicly, whether it's because of our own personal struggle with finding balance or if it’s because we haven't really defined our terms when we talk about the idea of balance.

 

Maybe what they are brushing up against is the idea of balance as “An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.”(English Dictionary). The idea here is that we find a way to give ourselves equally, all the time, in exact proportion to work and marriage and parenting and health and friendships and so on.

 

No thank you! These don’t all have equal weight in my heart let alone on my calendar!

 

But there is another equally valid definition of balance that works so much better when we are talking about work and life. 

 

It reads, “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions enabling it to remain upright and steady.”(also, English Dictionary).

 

Here, we can figure out the correct weight that each area of life needs to be given in order for it to remain upright and steady...in other words...for it to thrive both as an individual element and as a whole structure

 

Think the picture on the right vs the picture on the left.

 

This is the balance that I think is TOTALLY possible and the most freeing part about it is that the exact proportions you assign to each element of life is relative to YOU.

YOUR individual needs and the needs of YOUR family, YOUR season of life, YOUR capacity, and YOUR interests.

 

Not hers. YOURS.

 

Hopefully, I have convinced you that balance IS possible and that your balance is going to look different than anyone else’s balance.  The goal then is that each individual part (work, marriage, health) as well as the whole structure (your life holistically) can remain upright and steady - can THRIVE.

 

Let’s try something.

 

ASSIGNMENT: I want you to pull out a sheet of paper - I’ll wait!

We also created an easy to follow template for you to print. Just click the button below for access.

ADD_THIS_TEXT

 

I want you to start by spreading these 7 words out on your page Health, Friendships, Marriage (if applicable), Family, Work, Spiritual Life, and Rest/Leisure.

 

Next, I want you to number them from 1-7 with 7 being most important to you and 1 being the least important to you.  Essentially, we are prioritizing these seven areas of life in order of importance to you.

 

(And yes, I realize that all 7 areas are important to you. The key here is to have the maturity and clarity to rate them in ORDER of importance to you. This might take some thought).

 

Finally, I want you to draw a circle around each word that corresponds to the amount of time and attention that you currently give each of these things. (Lots of time = big circle, little bit of time = small circle)

 

If it gets a small amount of your time and attention then it should be circled tightly, more of your time and attention gets a big broad circle and so on in proportion to how things are currently.

It could look something like this:

 

Stop and assess: Are there discrepancies between how important something is to you and how much of yourself you give to it?  

 

Our goal is that by the end of this series you have put certain measures in place so that the “weight” or time/effort/attention you give to things matches the “weight” or level of priority that these things hold in your heart and that when taken all together, the result is a life that is stable and steady without risk of toppling over.

 

Did you have any aha-moments while completing this exercise? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

 

Bonus assignment: Talk through this with your spouse, roommate, closest friend and let THEM be honest about how much weight you are giving each area.  Just listen and resist the need to be defensive. You have nothing to prove - we are all growing here, and growth starts with honesty. This is where change begins - and sticks.

 

Tomorrow we start the heavy lifting. I’m excited for you!

 

Until then,

 

Shay


Join the SC Insiders and receive 20 FREE STYLED STOCK IMAGES instantly.
The most gorgeous FREE monthly styled stock images on the internet.

JOIN THE LIST




2 Responses

Bethany
Bethany

October 30, 2019

My ah-ha was that while my marriage is my biggest priority mentally, I’m not actually giving it the highest physical priority in showing my husband that it is. Thank you for this!

Nicolette Maries Wilson
Nicolette Maries Wilson

August 27, 2019

This is an AWESOME exercise! I want to share this on my blog! I had a few Ah-ha moments for sure!

Leave a comment

THE SERIOUS LEGAL STUFF

With this transaction Buyer acknowledges that the purchase comes with a non-exclusive limited use license so that the Purchaser may use the image for personal or professional use in the normal course of Purchaser's business.

Purchaser may crop the image and overlay the image with text or pdfs of product designs as fits Purchaser's needs, but Purchaser may not otherwise alter, edit or manipulate the image.

Shay Cochrane remains the sole and exclusive owner and holder of the copyright in the image and the Purchaser may not sell, lease, loan, transfer, assign, or give away the image or a derivative thereof or otherwise allow a third-party to use the image in any way.

The Purchaser may not use SC Stockshop images to promote styling related workshops, webinars, classes, how-to-style blog posts or newsletters, or any styling related training.

NOW, IN PLAIN ENGLISH

These images have been designed to become a part of your branding just like a logo or font choice.

As an entrepreneur yourself, you know how frustrating and discouraging it can be when people misuse, steal, giveaway or alter your work. With that in mind, please don't change the colors or move the props around - it just doesn't look as good (and infringes on the usage terms)!  

Feel free to crop the image any way that you want and overlay it with text or designs to help you to promote your brand and sell more products!  

By purchasing the image you are agreeing not to give the image (or a part of the image) away to anyone else in ANY way even if you turned it into a beautiful free e-book cover, or snazzy desktop screen savor.

It would also be just plain wrong to re-sell the image in any form such as turning it into an art print or including it in a website or other template design.  

Lastly, using an SC Stockshop image to sell your styling course, webinar or other styling related training is sort of false advertising. Show them the styling that YOU have done so that they know exactly what they are in for and can get excited!  This is not meant to scare you.  

If you have any questions or concerns about the legal use of our images please don't hesitate to shoot us an e-mail! We don't bite!