The Work/Life “Balance” Series Part III: Where do you draw the line?

Phew, you have done some serious soul searching these past two days and have been painfully honest with yourself about the state of things.  

 
Being honest with yourself and letting the people close to you be honest with you is HARD stuff. 
 
Just remember, we are all growing here, myself included.  
 
With two driven business owners in our house, we revisit conversations like these OFTEN and while the truth hurts each time, it always serves to get us back on track and unifies us in the process.
 
Today we dive in and start with the first steps in building your framework for a thriving life and business! Are you excited?
 
There is a reason that you started a business and I have a feeling it has a lot to do with the FREEDOM that owning a business can bring. I say can bring because in too many instances, hopeful creatives leave their 9-5 only to work 24/7 as a business owner.
 
Now that you have clarified your priorities, here is where we begin to establish boundary lines that will help to ensure that each area of life gets the weight (time/effort/attention) that it needs to thrive and to keep the whole structure of your life “upright and steady.”

 

We are going to start with establishing your “non-negotiables.” 

 

Warning, you can try to undertake this on your own but if you are married then success in gaining a sense of “balance” will likely require input and unity with your spouse in order to last. I realize that this may be hard in certain marriages, but I would at least encourage you to try to come to an agreement together about these non-negotiables with common goals in mind.

 

“Non-negotiables” are the often seemingly silly “rules for life” that protect the things that you say that you prioritize. 

 

If you do not decide on your non-negotiables than your work (especially if you love what you do!) will wreak havoc on all other areas of your life from your health to your marriage, parenting and friendships. 

 

There already? It’s not too late!

 

Here are a few of the non-negotiables in our family that allow us all to thrive:

 

  • Family dinner at the dinner table (most nights of the week) with no phones or technology
  • No “pushes” to our phones at all (e-mail, apps, etc.) other than text messages
  • No work outside of established/agreed-upon work hours (in our house after 5pm)
  • No work on the weekends (this obviously doesn’t work for all industries)
  • 7-8 hours of sleep during the week - in bed by 10pm
  • No TV in the bedrooms
  • I (Shay) MUST have non-work days during the week

 

We have many more, but this just gives you an idea of the things that we have established as the “norms” for our family in order for us to thrive.

 

STOP RIGHT THERE - this list is NOT to induce guilt or comparison. 

 

This list is just to get your wheels turning about what non-negotiables can look like.  Remember that you and I are different, and our non-negotiables will uniquely reflect the uniqueness of our family culture, our goals, our personal convictions, etc.

 

Now it’s your turn.  

 

You have the power to determine where the line is drawn to protect the things that you care about from being stolen away by the pace of life. It starts with a decision though and it helps to put that decision down in ink. Make a list - what do you want your non-negotiables to be? 

 

And remember, the goal is not flawless execution of sticking to these rules of life. The goal is to create a standard or “true north” that you are constantly reorienting to.

 

ASSIGNMENT: ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS

 

  1. What things regularly interfere with or dislodge your priorities? Is it time on your phone in the evening? An overly full family schedule? Too much television? Pushes to your cell or smartwatch? Make a list of anything that comes to mind.
  2. What do you want to be the “non-negotiables” in your home? Create a list, add to it as you think of things, discuss and finalize with your spouse (if applicable).

 

Comment below with one non-negotiable that you are excited about!

 

BONUS TASK: Hold a “family meeting” and talk about your new family non-negotiables list with your children. Post them in the house and let the kids help hold you accountable (They are good at that! haha).

 

You are doing deep work here. Keep going. It will be worth it!

 

I’ll see you again here tomorrow!


2 comments


  • Mar

    You know, the thing that consistently derails me is my self doubt. When I start doubting that I can actually be a life coach or that my business will be successful, then I start spinning on all those other things. But when I am strong in my energy and I honor my calendar, I have the balance and life feels amazing. I’m so glad you’re talking about this because it is something we need to hear more about. Thank you Shay!


  • Lisa

    Thank you so much for this series, Shay! Your success at creating boundaries as well as a thriving business has always inspired me and I appreciate you sharing what you have learned along the way so much! 💗


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